If a wood fire is to be kept burning, periodically more wood has to be added, for the wood is what provides fuel for the fire. The simple principle implied here is that when we stop feeding something, it will die. It has been said that as big and strong as an elephant is, all that one has to do to defeat it is to stop feeding it. It will grow weaker daily, and eventually it will fall helpless to the ground.
The writer of Proverbs says, “For lack of wood the fire goes out and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.” (Proverbs 26:20) Contention needs the help of the whisperer in order to survive. When the whisperer stops whispering, contention quiets down. Getting rid of contention is therefore a relatively simple matter. Stop whispering. There must, however, be a change of heart in the whisperer. The whisperer whispers because he gets twisted satisfaction out of watching the fires of contention burn. Contention distracts from the need to address deficits within the self. It seeks to effect equilibrium between what is going is on, on the outside, with what is going on, on the inside. When there is peace within, there will be no need to create turmoil without. It is a good thing, then, for us to make peace with ourselves; to address the things that are causing inner turmoil. A closer walk with Jesus is the answer. He is the one who brings wholeness to our lives.